Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
