a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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