Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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