He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
