its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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