Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
