wakey wakey hands off snakey
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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