Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
