I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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