Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
