It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
