It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
