Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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