Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize