We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
