I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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