I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
