is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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