So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
