Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
