Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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