ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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