Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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