your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
