Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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