Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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