Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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