he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
