I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
