When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
