do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
