I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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