he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
