Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
