Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
