white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
