i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
