Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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