i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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