If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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