I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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