Everything about him screamed your future.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
