that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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