Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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