Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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