we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
