Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
