How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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