Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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