Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
