We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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