Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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