why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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