Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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