he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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