How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Shame - the story of my life.
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