forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
