You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize