Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
