When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
