I want to have your abortion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
