I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
