He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
