I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize