Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
