You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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