Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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