He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
