well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
