I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
