i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
