my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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