In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
