just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
