KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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