last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
