she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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