Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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