Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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