Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize