She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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